Questions to ask Your Spouse + A Free Printable!

Ask just about anyone who’s been married for more than a day, and they’ll likely tell you that “communication is one of the most important things in marriage“.

They would be right.

Unless you’ve been blessed with the power to read your spouse’s mind, the two of you need to communicate about things in order to have a healthy marriage. Hopes and dreams, fears, failures, insecurities, expectations, joys…you name it, you need to communicate about it.

When God says in Mark 10:8 that the two shall become one flesh, He wasn’t talking about a magical transformation that happens when you put on a wedding ring. He’s talking about a process, something that takes time and effort, something that grows. Something you nurture.

So, how do you do it? And how do you keep it fresh?

One of the best and most creative ways that Hans and I have found to nurture communication in our marriage is a bunch of little yellow slips of paper in a mason jar.

A few months ago, I printed off a long list of questions to ask your spouse (quick note – I adapted my list from this one and this one), cut the questions into slips, and stuck them in a mason jar. Hans and I had been struggling to come up with “deep” questions to ask each other, so we started pulling out one slip every night at dinner and discussing the question together.

It’s been so good for us. We’ve had conversations we wouldn’t otherwise have had. I’ve had the courage to talk to him about fears and insecurities. He’s told me about needs I didn’t even know he had. We’ve laughed about silly things and revisited old memories. All it’s required is a willingness to talk about whatever question we happen to pull out.

It’s such a simple thing, but our little mason jar has nurtured communication in our marriage in beautiful ways. So, I want to share the goodness! Click below to download a PDF of the questions list and put them to good use in your own marriage!

Click here to download the questions!

Ask a question or two at dinner, grab a handful of slips before a road trip or a hike, or use them on your next date night. Some of the questions will make you giggle, some are surface level, some are uncomfortable, and some will push you to be honest. But all of them are good, and all of them are worth talking about.

Related Articles…
The Five Love Languages | Husband Edition
Fox Hunting | Protect Your Garden
Cast Vision For Your Marriage

How do you nurture communication in your marriage?

Under Grace,
Rachel

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Other Lovely Reads…
Thoughts on Generosity
Living With Less | Clothing (this series is SO GOOD)
He Is Enough, No Matter What
Enjoying the Little Things in Alaska
Recognition

24 thoughts on “Questions to ask Your Spouse + A Free Printable!

  1. I love this! The other night my guy + I took the ‘5 love languages’ profile online. It created so much discussion about topics I would have thought we’d covered by now. I was just reading through your list of questions + I love how thought-provoking they are. I’m definitely going to be using this!

    • Hey there, Caitlin! Thank you so much for stopping in!

      The Five Love Languages test is SO good…it definitely helps you understand your partner on a much deeper level, and they make much more sense once you understand what “language” they’re speaking!

      I’m so glad you like the list! I hope it creates wonderful discussion for you guys!

  2. Writing this down: “He’s talking about a process, something that takes time and effort, something that grows. Something you nurture.” Because, dang.

    And ah, this rules. It scares me to think about actually doing, but I definitely WANT to have these deep conversations, and this answers the HOW. Thanks lady!

    • My mom always tells me that “the two becoming one” takes time…that love isn’t something you fall into, it’s something you grow. Because I get frustrated when Hans and I aren’t totally on the same page all the time, you know? I need to remember this as much as the next girl!

      I definitely found myself in the same place – wanting to have deep conversations and being freaked out by them – and this simple little jar definitely helps. Hans and I have had so many good discussions come out of this. Let me know how it goes with you and Miles!!

  3. Ohh I just love this! Steven and I are natural communicators but this is a great tool for making sure your conversations go deeper than surface level. On our trip this weekend we had some really great talks and it just is a constant reminder that we are to be each other’s biggest encouragers and helpers! Thank you for these awesome questions girl!

    • You’re so welcome, Madison!

      No matter how good your communication in marriage is, there are always more questions to ask! And you’re absolutely right – we are called to be our spouses’ biggest encouragers and helpers, and good conversations just solidify that all the more.

  4. Found you on the Oak & Oats link up! This is such a good idea, thank you. For us, while we communicate a ton, sometimes I feel like it’s not on a very deep level as much anymore, and this is a good way to open it up in an easy, light-hearted way 🙂

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