Ask just about anyone who’s been married for more than a day, and they’ll likely tell you that “communication is one of the most important things in marriage“.
They would be right.
Unless you’ve been blessed with the power to read your spouse’s mind, the two of you need to communicate about things in order to have a healthy marriage. Hopes and dreams, fears, failures, insecurities, expectations, joys…you name it, you need to communicate about it.
When God says in Mark 10:8 that the two shall become one flesh, He wasn’t talking about a magical transformation that happens when you put on a wedding ring. He’s talking about a process, something that takes time and effort, something that grows. Something you nurture.
So, how do you do it? And how do you keep it fresh?
One of the best and most creative ways that Hans and I have found to nurture communication in our marriage is a bunch of little yellow slips of paper in a mason jar.
A few months ago, I printed off a long list of questions to ask your spouse (quick note – I adapted my list from this one and this one), cut the questions into slips, and stuck them in a mason jar. Hans and I had been struggling to come up with “deep” questions to ask each other, so we started pulling out one slip every night at dinner and discussing the question together.
It’s been so good for us. We’ve had conversations we wouldn’t otherwise have had. I’ve had the courage to talk to him about fears and insecurities. He’s told me about needs I didn’t even know he had. We’ve laughed about silly things and revisited old memories. All it’s required is a willingness to talk about whatever question we happen to pull out.
It’s such a simple thing, but our little mason jar has nurtured communication in our marriage in beautiful ways. So, I want to share the goodness! Click below to download a PDF of the questions list and put them to good use in your own marriage!
Click here to download the questions!
Ask a question or two at dinner, grab a handful of slips before a road trip or a hike, or use them on your next date night. Some of the questions will make you giggle, some are surface level, some are uncomfortable, and some will push you to be honest. But all of them are good, and all of them are worth talking about.
How do you nurture communication in your marriage?