The Singleness Series | Single and Seeking

Single And Seeking

Thursdays are turning into quite the party around here, thanks to the Singleness Series! I’m having some of my favorite ladies from around the internet share what it means to be single and loving the Lord well. This isn’t a place for namby-pamby cliches about Jesus being your boyfriend or dawdling around until your knight in shining armor comes. This is a place to be honest about the struggles of singleness, and celebrating that Jesus is enough in every season.

Catch up on last week’s thoughts from Rachel about being Single and Content, too. Her story is absolutely raw and beautiful.

Today I have the pleasure of introducing you to Madison from The Wetherills Say I Do. Madison is a pure Southern sweetheart, with a deep heart for community, marriage, and good food. We email back and forth all the time, and she is a blessing to my blogging world 🙂

Go, Madison!

Hello, Our Yellow Door readers! My blog is a faith based lifestyle blog where I write about just about everything. I’ve been married to my husband, Steven, for two years this coming Sunday! It’s been a crazy and wonderful ride! I am so thrilled to be taking part of this series with Rachel and cannot wait to share with you what I’ve learned about singleness over the years.

What if I told you that I wish I had been single more often before I got married? Would you think I was crazy? Maybe you’ve spent most of your single years just wishing that God would place the man of your dreams into your life. So maybe me wishing I had been single more often just sounds plain ole crazy to you.

Let me back up for a moment. In high school, I was always dating someone. My first serious relationship started when I was 13 and lasted almost two years. I was fairly certain at the time that we were going to get married someday, even though he didn’t get along terribly well with my parents, he was into drugs and drinking and I was not, and our religious beliefs didn’t match up at all. Funny enough, none of those things were what caused us to break up.

When we broke up before my junior year of high school, I was pretty devastated to say the least. For the first time in a long time I truly realized that God was the only one I could fully rely on. I started singing at church again, might have even prayed a time or two. But within 2-3 months, I was talking to someone new and happy as a clam. All of the sudden I was back to thinking that a human love could fill a spiritual void.

Things went off and on like that until I met my husband. When we started dating, I had extremely high hopes of us having a great spiritual relationship together and that because I was finally with the person I was going to marry, now I could focus on God. Hopefully you see how backwards that all was.

When I say I wish I had more singleness before I was married, I mean that I wish I had learned to seek God in all times, the single ones, the break up ones, the dating ones. All times. But what I’ve learned from my relationship with my husband, Steven, is that it’s incredibly important to have your own spiritual relationship with God outside of the relationship you and your husband have together.

The Bible tells us, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” (James 4:8) Notice it doesn’t specify when or where or how to draw near, just to do it. It doesn’t say, when you’re single and desiring a husband, draw near, and it doesn’t say when you’ve finally found the man of your dreams, now draw near… Our relationship with the Lord shouldn’t be defined by our relationship status. 

Those are lessons I was only able to learn years after my ability to be single had ended. I wasn’t able to see my neglect for my relationship with God when my only focus was filling my desire for a physical companion. I wish I had known that the amount of satisfaction that I could get from my relationship with God could be so much greater than any earthly relationship I could have. Don’t misunderstand, I love my husband and being married is one of the best blessings I could ask for. But I am 100% convinced that my relationship with Steven is stronger, greater, and such a blessing because of our individual relationships with the Lord.

If you’re single, I encourage you to seek the Lord in this time. He has so much to teach you right now where you are. And if you’re dating someone, I’m not saying break up with them, but take this time to learn how to put the Lord first in your life and your priorities. If you’re married, reflect back on the lessons you learned about how to pursue God while you were single, dating, and now married.

I’d love for y’all to stop by my blog or say hello on social media!

Blog | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | Facebook

Don’t forget to check in next Thursday to hear from my good friend Jordyn!

Under Grace,

PS – want to read about how to be single and significant, thriving, and content?

8 thoughts on “The Singleness Series | Single and Seeking

  1. This is absolutely perfect. I personally did not have to go through a season of singleness with the Lord because I was an atheist before I met my husband. I can, however, say that a marriage is going to be really tough unless the two people are pursuing Christ together and on their own. I love this series and I think it is so important for married ladies to be honest about singleness so the future married ladies can get the full picture! 🙂

    • Hey Cassie! It’s awesome that you popped in for the series, and I love your insights! You’re absolutely right…marriage is hard enough on it’s own, and it gets easier when both people are loving the Lord independently.

      And yes – it’s awesome when married women share! That’s why I’m so excited for this series!

  2. So love the honesty! I’ve never heard a wife say they wish they had been single longer but the heart behind that revelation is just beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Absolutely love this, Madison! I can relate a bit to the whole constantly dating someone and trying to fill a void. I struggled with that from Highschool all the way through college. I wish I had been single more in high school and college. I was constantly looking for the next one. Ugh.
    Thanks for sharing your heart, Madison! Love this series, Rachel!

  4. Pingback: The Singleness Series | Single and Submitting | Our Yellow Door

  5. Pingback: Click Here #7 | to dwell in possibilities

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