Just a little public service announcement…this is the ninth post in the Singleness Series. That’s a humbling number to me. It means that nine other women have believed in the purpose behind this series, and have lent their time and their voices to sharing their thoughts with you and I.
Next week will be the final installment of this series, and you’ll have the immense honor of hearing from Nadine of Nadine Would Say. She’s going to end this thing with purpose.
Speaking of purpose, today features the only engaged lady of the Singleness Series, Leah of Hope Collective. Even though I’ve never even met this girl, I just about freaked out with joy when I found out that Tyler had proposed. Leah is super passionate about making jewelry, too. You can check out her beautiful Etsy shop here!
PSST! Did you read Grace’s post about Single and Free last week? No? Go there next.
Leah has some fantastic insights about being single and purposeful. Read on!
Hello lovely readers! Thanks for taking the time out of your day to stop in here at Our Yellow Door! I blog over at Hope Collective, a place where I share my heart about life, creativity, and faith. I am currently in a big transitional state in my life – moving, and planning and preparing for marriage with my amazing fiancée Tyler. It’s a crazy adventure and God is teaching me a lot. Today I want to share a little bit about the chapter in my life that just recently closed – singleness.
As I was reading the other guest posts in Rachel’s singleness series, one word came to my mind about my time being single – purposeful. I wish I could say I had it together when I was single, but I did not. I don’t have it together now that I’m engaged, but I sure did learn a lot from my single years. I spent many years just longing for relationships instead of focusing my time and energy on deepening my relationship with God and being more purposeful about serving Him.
I heard and read a lot of things when I was single along the lines of if single women served God more, He would bring the perfect man along. And how far from the truth this is! As single women our purpose should never be to serve God to find a man, but to serve God because we love Him and want to use our talents to glorify Him.
I wanted to share more about how, as a single woman, you could check your heart to see if you are doing things with the right God-given purpose and being honest with yourself. I think a big blessing of being single is that you have the time to get to know yourself and be completely real and honest with yourself and God. So many times I would do things as a single woman with the wrong heart motive. Deepening our relationship with God should always be the driving purpose in all we do.
So here are 3 questions you can ask yourself to find out what your driving purpose is in a few key areas:
1. What is my purpose for finding a new church or going to church in general?
I struggled with this one big time! I went through a period before finding my church in Charlotte where I was seeking a church under the wrong intentions. I was more focused on finding a church with young men and a great singles group instead of focusing on the preaching and doctrines of the church. A singles group is a great idea – but when it becomes your main focus in finding a godly community, you may need to check your heart on that one.
If you find a solid church with godly preaching, then God will provide the community you need, regardless of whether they have a singles group or not. I eventually found a great Gospel-centered church and found my community within a women’s Bible study. I met some great girls through it, and am so thankful for that friendship I found there.
2. What is my purpose for having male friendships?
I think this one can be especially tricky being a single woman. It’s hard to keep our emotions in check, isn’t it ladies?! But there is so much God can teach us through having healthy male friendships. Over the past couple of years, I built a few friendships with a few guys and God showed me there are godly men out there, and having a friendship with them can be beneficial because they are brothers in Christ.
Stop seeing each single guy as a potential boyfriend, and get to know them as brothers. Have encouraging friendships first.
3. What is my purpose in growth and success?
God has given each of His children such vast talents and skills and to better them and use them glorifies Him. When I was single, I oftentimes had to check myself to make sure I was pursuing interests with the right intentions. I sometimes would be interested in certain opportunities thinking that they would lead me to meeting more guys.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting new people, but my heart was in the wrong place. I would want relationships out of that, instead of trusting God’s timing. Throw yourself into your hobbies and talents God’s given you, and glorify Him where you are, right in this moment!