Hello, sweet friend. Today is the last installment of the Singleness Series. What a blessing this has been to me – and, I pray, to you as well. To all the ladies who have shared your thoughts on being Single and Significant, Thriving, Content, Seeking, Intentional, Brave, Submitting, Free, and Purposeful…thank you 🙂 You’re amazing.
Today you have the honor of hearing from a blogger who I have tremendous respect for. Meet Nadine, a spunky and Jesus-loving woman who plumbs the depths of faith with incredible beauty. Her voice is one I am truly honored to share here today.
More than anything, Nadine believes in the ultimate satisfaction of the Gospel. Single or married, that’s something we all need to embrace, amen?
I’m Nadine, creative writer over at nadinewouldsay. I’m passionate about the Gospel, about believing it fully, living it out, and sharing it with everybody. I’m a full-time student, work as a tutor, and love community. I’m a (I think) fun combination of silly and serious, and the more you know me, the sillier you’ll realize I am.
Alright, let’s start out with some transparency? These truths I seek to live out are difficult. I want relationship and marriage a lot. I don’t always trust God or think that He is sovereign. Those are areas of easy sin for me, which I pray God will keep fixing in me because it’s only by His power that I’ll ever stop being so flimsy in my faith and trust in His good will.
Here’s the greatest truth for my flimsy heart: Christ died on a cross, conquered the power of sin and death, rose again, and offers life to all who call upon His name.
He didn’t overcome so I could be happily married. He overcame so I could repent of my sin and bow at His feet and live my life in complete surrender to Him, loving Him before all things and loving my neighbour well.
God’s purpose for my life is so much better than a hand to hold.
His purpose for me is a knee bowed in surrender to Him. It’s a heart that knows the Lord intimately and walks faithfully in whatever the call is. It’s a joy that I can’t explain, a hope I hold onto with all my heart, and a peace that just truly doesn’t even make sense.
I remember a moment early this year when God started to ask if He was holy enough for me.
What does that mean? Well, I felt like He started to push back on my hopes and dreams to ask if I thought that He could satisfy my needs. Could I trust Him with my life?
Did I believe that all that I have is from Him and that nothing is my own? As in even my singleness isn’t my own. My future isn’t my own. It all belongs to the Lord.
Those were hard questions. They’re still hard. Some days I can confidently tell the Lord “YES!”, with excitement in my tone of voice, other days it’s a calmer yes, a slow yes, a pained yes, and sometimes it’s a no. On the no days, I have to repent of my desires for things other than His glory. That’s difficult.
The other night I had a tantrum because I was angry at Him for not giving me what I want. Picture a kid wanting candy in the grocery store and flipping out. That was me. Broken and a mess and in need of a Saviour to mend me.
Jesus always mends me. He always comes into my broken places and reminds me that He died for my freedom. He didn’t die so I can sit moping on the ground because I don’t have a new last name. He died so that I could know that I have a new identity in Him. It’s better than a last name; it’s a new name: it’s daughter of God.
And if that doesn’t give me peace and calm down my tantrum, then I hope He never gives me a husband. I’d rather He teach me until I believe than give me the things I want. Maybe that sounds harsh and dramatic, but truly, I believe the Gospel is the best news. I believe that Jesus is better. I believe that nothing can satisfy like knowing that I am loved by God.